Champions of The Round Table

 
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SATIRE — Tommy Tuberville dusted himself off and got off the bench to become a new head coach for Texas Tech, but what happens to the other unemployed coaches?

Here are some suggestions for some of the less fortunate coaches that may can help them pay of those condos in the Caribbean.

Phillip Fulmer a Sumo Wrestler?

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Speaking of Fulmer, (since he was in the last picture) lots of washed up athletes and coaches go to Japan to renew their careers.

Maybe Fulmer could do the Sumo circuit. They do have a senior circuit surely don't they?

Fulmer is an old lineman and maybe could do very well at this.

Mark Mangino, Reality TV Star

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Seems like a natural fit here. Maybe he could stretch that 15 minutes of fame like he does his Fruit of the Looms.

Then maybe he could do some spokesperson work for Nutrisystem.

Tommy Bowden - Grief Counselor

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He's such a nice guy, so polite and well spoken and who knows more about heartache and not living up to expectations?

He'd be an excellent grief counselor. Here he is demonstrating his "Block it from your eyes, then block it from your mind" technique.

Dennis Franchione - Sitcom Comedian / Actor

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Everyone knows Fran's a master actor. He's acted like he knew what he was doing for years before going to Texas A&M and he's believable. Just ask the dozens of football players he left in Tuscaloosa holding a rope.

He could play a head coach who gets one of the highest salaries in the land and bungles his team and professional life. It will be hilarious except in small pockets of Texas.
Guaranteed to be funny!

Mike Leach - Motivational Speaker

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No one motivates like Mike Leach. Until some school comes to their senses and offers this guy a job, he's the best motivational speaker I could think of.

It just doesn't work on golden spoon crybabies who happen to have high profile fathers on the leading sports network, but for the rest of the population, he gets guaranteed results!

Bobby Bowden - TV Pitchman for Elder Products

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With that aw shucks, dadgummit homespun folksiness Bobby Bowden is the natural pitchman for elder products.

"Just like our fans, I almost crapped my pants too seeing how far FSU had fallen, but unlike the fans, I was protected!"

Yes I can hear it now, and for other products too.

"A lot of fans were wondering if I could hear all their grumbling the last couple of years and I couldn't. But now with this new Miracle Ear, I hear every snide and disgusting remark."

And there you have it!

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Thanks for reading and tune in next year when we have more career advice for Rich Rodriguez, Les Miles and more.

We hope you enjoyed the show.

 

    By: Larry Burton

    From: Bleacher Report

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